I Miss You so Much

My child, I miss you so much
You would have been two months old yesterday
I would have fed you, allowed you to burp, cuddle you.
You would have laughed at me and your dad who would have tickled you.

You would have joined us to the party.
And I would have hold you when they took the picture.
Except you were not.

Your name wasn’t mentioned,
I had to pose for the picture with my incomplete family,
With that heartbreaking feeling that things will never be the same.
We will never be on a photograph together.
Not here.

I don’t know how to go on without you.
But I know I have to.
My child, I miss you so much.

First written in Dutch on September 9, 2017